Our visit to the orphanage

Hi, Everyone,
First of all, thank you for the encouraging comments and emails. It makes us feel close to home!
We met Lilly this morning and she took us to the orphanage where Max lived. It was built in 2000, and is gated, beautiful and spacious – very resort-like. It replaced a smaller facility from 1911. There are separate buildings for administration, living quarters, rehab and a school. The facility is setup as a residence for kids as long as they are wards of the state – even if they enter the university. We were without our camera much of the time because Miss Guo, the same lady that brought Max to meet us, took it to Max’s room to take pictures for us. We weren’t allowed to go there ourselves due to concerns over H1N1. The visit was brief, but pleasant.

Foreign adoptions from Shanghai are unusual now because Chinese families are allowed to adopt also, and so many can afford it here. We were told that we’re the only ones from Minnesota to adopt from here this year so far.

We had the chance to ask more questions about Max during our visit. We asked about his experience with other kids and what they did about his temper. She said that the nurses loved him and basically couldn’t say ‘no’ to him. When he wanted something, he got it. That’s in-line with what we have seen. It will take some time to work into the new rules. I must admit to using ear plugs once already during an especially challenging outburst.

We have reminder notes for Lilly to teach us how to say some things in Shanghai dialect – things like “Do not throw that.” , “Do not hit.” and "Gentle".

The transition has its challenges, but we know we’ve been blessed again. It’s clear Max is a very clever, determined, active and healthy kid. The most worthwhile blessings always come with challenges. (If that’s not true, please keep it to yourselves.)

We have our plane tickets for Guangzhou on Friday. Lilly got us a very good deal. It’s hard to believe we’ve been here almost two weeks, already. Tomorrow, she’ll take us to Max’s “found place”, where he was found abandoned.

After another relatively unsuccessful nap time we went to supper. There's an IKEA store nearby we walked to during rush hour. It seemed like the whole population of the city was a the same intersections we were. The numbers of people and vehicles was astonishing. Apparently, busses do not have to observe stoplights in Shanghai. We heard something like that from one of our guides and we observed it several times. Ambulances must obey the stoplights, but busses do not. Go figure.

The IKEA store was amazing in a less-than-positive way. There was a big cafeteria-style restaurant that looked pretty good, only it also must have looked good to the remaining population that weren't at the intersections with us because it was packed. In China, it's not considered rude to stand at the table over those who are finishing eating -- just as it's not considered rude to barge infront of a lady pushing a baby stroller to get into a building. These are just things that one needs to do in a city of 20 million people. We were not yet willing to drool on other people as they ate, so we left there and wandered our area of town for awhile, finally ending-up at a very unusual building with several floors.

There were young ladies on the sidewalk outside of this building, competeing in trying to get people interested in going inside. We asked for a menu and it looked pretty good, so we consented. We were ushered to one of the upper floors where there was a very nice Japanese restaurant. Service was excellent and the food was very good. Max had fallen asleep on the walk and remained in a stroller. He woke up to the smell of food. A couple of the waitresses really liked him and brought special steamed eggs to both of the kids. One of them spent alot of time feeding Max for us. After eating two helpings of rice with chicken, 1.5 steamed egg servings, two pieces of steamed squid tentacles and half a large orange juice, he was slowing down. It was getting late and we had to go, but since we were leaving with food still visible, there was a tantrum. It took 3 pretty Asian waitresses fussing over him for 10 minutes to calm him down. There's no way we can compete with that, and we couldn't afford to maintain it, anyway, but was nice while it lasted.

When walked past the building at first, and Michelle mentioned a suspicion that it looked like an unsavory place, but we were hungry and the kids were tired. We were glad we took the chance. However, on the way back down, the elevator opened on a floor we had not seen before which gave some credence to Michelle's suspicions and offered another answer to why there was an elevator operator in a very small elevator, but at that point we didn't care. No one bothered us and we and one of the kids was full.

Back at the room, we all had some fun settling in for the evening, but it's been another harrowing bedtime. Kira doesn't understand why her new brother is so loud, Max doesn't understand why we do not help him have or do anything he wants and we are looking forward to the part of being home where all the tools (i.e. crib, doors and baby chairs) are available to help enforce the rules of the new regime.

We hope things are well with you all.

Kim, Michelle, Kira & Max