Leaving Guanzhou and the trip home

Hi, Everyone,
I attempted to post the first portion before we left, but it didn’t go, so I added on to it here. We’re home, now, back to the land of unblocked internet sites (like blogspot.com) and potable water. We love to travel, but always love coming home. Here’s how it went….
Our last morning in Guangzhou started like the others – get the kids up and ready, ask Kira to put her shoes on, check on the day’s schedule, remind Kira to put her shoes on, change Max, make sure we have our room keys, remind Kira again to put her shoes on, make sure everything is put away that should be put away in case the maid comes, move out the door and wait for Kira to put her shoes on.
Breakfast at the White Swan is always very good. Service is excellent and there is a tremendous variety for Asian, American and Europeans to be happy – as though pumpkin pie, noodles and coffee could be combined in one thing.
We made one last run for diapers and a couple other things, then began our packing. It didn’t go well with 2 small kids in a small room, so Michelle took them to the playroom and I finished the packing in plenty of time. Molly and the van met us at checkout and we were off to the airport. There were no problems with boarding passes or security. In Guangzhou, for many flights, busses transport passengers to the airplanes. Our bus was pretty crowded and hot. It was close to 100 degrees and the AC on the bus couldn’t keep up. We eventually got to the airplane where the queue to board had the usual chaos of almost any queue in China. The plane was soon in the air, and Guangzhou faded into the mist as it became another good memory.
We got back to Shanghai with minimal breakage and bickering and went right to the Shanghai Airport Hotel. It was extremely convenient and modern. The hotel was connected to the terminal and parking ramps via a large enclosed walkway. It was a relatively small, but beautiful building. They did not have our reservations, but no matter. There was still room. The two beds were an odd size and the room seemed to be designed more as an erotic escape than an overnight room for an early morning flight. There were reflective tiles on the ceiling and the bathroom had a large glass see-through door (seemed to defeat the purpose of a door, but who are we to judge?) with a large, round shower also surrounded in see-through glass. The doorways were particularly narrow such that a loaded luggage cart would not fit through. Still, the room was nice and only about $90 for the four of us. The bellman talked about basketball. There’s a big following of the NBA in China. Several people struck up a conversation about it with us over the last few weeks.
The hotel had a buffet for 38 yuan (about $6.00) which was small, but had plenty of variety for the price – whole prawns and whole yellow fish, regular and spicy noodles, vegetables, soup, rice and several other things. And onion rings. It seemed a bit unusual to see onion rings – definitely a candidate for Sesame Street’s “One of these things is not like the others”. Michelle and I had two large beers while we all munched away. It was a good reward for completing the first leg of the journey home.
We got up about 4am to get ourselves and the kids ready to get to security by 5:45. It seemed only the international travelers needed to be so early. While we waited, we grabbed our last breakfast in China at the Burger King in the Shanghai airport. The breakfast choices were limited, but the setting was very nice, on a veranda overlooking the gates and facing a glass wall that looked out onto the runways and past them to the ocean with a large number of freighters waiting to get into port. It was quite beautiful in its own way. It was better than TV for the kids. Though the fare was not what we’d become accustom to, our breakfast conversation, however, was like most others – plenty of ‘why’ questions. For a sample of the variety of questions, Kira asked, “Why did we ride 3 airplanes to get here, but we only ride 2 to get home?” After being impressed by the intelligence of that question, not 5 minutes later came the contrasting question, “If I squeeze you, will you go potty?”
In any case, boarding was on-schedule and we were off. The flight from Shanghai to Detroit seemed longer than it was. The plane was a middle-aged 747, so quarters were a little cramped and the kids were antsy and loud (not just our kids, but the kids around us as well). As the flight drew on, our kids were less and less interested in being content. There were numerous little tantrums, potty trips and fights, but there were some good experiences as well – showing the kids the view of Canada, watching them interact with other kids and meeting some other pleasant passengers. Still, going on long flights with two small kids is not something one does for fun or relaxation. To say it was “hell” is much too strong, but to say it was “unpleasant” seems insufficient, so it was somewhere inbetween. We had both been secretly dreading the flight back, but fortunately, it is a limited time.
We’d never been through customs or immigration in Detroit. It was a bit of a wait but not nearly as problematic as we had suspected it might be. Our layover was two hours and we still made it in plenty of time, even after a couple potty stops. The immigration agent was a pleasant, young guy who dealt with Kira’s questions very well, questions about all of the items on his gun belt, why the policemen were in cages, why they needed to look at us, etc. A customs assistant helped us get our bags to the re-check-in area and we picked-up some lunch to go on the hike to our gate. The lunch gave the kids something to do for awhile on the flight to Rochester, where my mom was waiting for us with our car. It was great to be able to arrive in Rochester. The airport was easy, the outside landscape was clean and green and the signs on the way home were all in English. We were home in almost no time.
It didn’t take long for Kira and Max to find her toys. In a very short time, Max found sunglasses, a backpack and a toy vacuum cleaner. Mom thoughtfully dropped by some groceries, we got some supper ready. The kids, however, were falling asleep at the table, so we checked them in to bed. It wasn’t an altogether easy night as the kids woke and needed attention a couple times, but those things are much easier to deal with at home.
All our best,
Kim, Michelle, Kira & Max

Hi, Everyone,
We had a good and slow start to the day today. We got to breakfast in plenty of time and then ran some errands before having to be back to the hotel to prepare for our consulate appointment.
Our new little Mr. Poopipants set a personal record this morning with 3 diaper changes within about 45 minutes – all quite necessary, and likely a direct result of the pork meatballs he couldn’t get enough of last night. The incident forced us to recalculate the number of diapers we need to get home. Fortunately, we found a source close by for XL diapers. The large couldn’t cut it. XL diapers in China are not all that easy to find. In all this, Max has learned to powder himself by watching us. Our theory is that a kid who can learn to powder himself is likely ready for potty training.
We were on-time for the consulate appointment. The consulate is in a large office building across the city. We learned today that it’s the largest consulate office in the world, processing some 25,000 immigrant VISAs last year. The appointment went without a hitch. There were some toys in the back that kept the kids engaged. The Fischer-Price accounting office was very popular, complete with abacus and sun roof. They were right under the video screen repeating the instructions for the interview: when to approach, fingerprinting, and finally “just relax and tell the truth”. When the time came, we relaxed, took the oath for Max and received his VISA. With that, we have everything we need to come home, now, and when we enter the US, he will automatically become a citizen.
Traffic was pretty bad when we left the consulate. There were a number of families there from the hotel, so the hotel sent their bus to bring us back. There were too many exciting close calls to count with people pulling in front of buses and vehicles jockeying for position against bicycles carrying LP tanks and little cars that looked like you could crumble them with your bare hands. It took a long time to get back to the hotel. A few kids tried to start a mutiny, but it was quickly put down with granola bars, fruit chews and some bubble gum. Our kids didn’t get a nap with today’s schedule. We were hoping they would sleep on the bus, but there was too much excitement in the air. Unfortunately, this would come back to haunt us.
We didn’t have to wait long for the haunting. We went down the block to a Cantonese place we had been to before. A lot of Chinese people go there. Before we could even order, Max blew his first gasket and Kira soon after. Max was reaching critical mass so Michelle took him out to the street. Kira was rebelling, too, insisting on performing one of the bigger no-no’s. I told her I’d be taking her out for a spanking when Michelle returned. There were two mood changes by the time Michelle got back, but even then, Kira reminded me of the threat (which was not an idle one, as she found out.). Unfortunately, the crabby defiance rose and fell through the rest of the evening, like so many tides. Max, on the other hand, was fine once there was food. Service was excellent – may be a little too excellent. Being the only Caucasians in the place, we garnered some attention. The waitresses insisted on Max eating with a spoon rather than a fork. That freaked him out a little, but there was still food, so he was OK. They also seemed impressed with his capacity for eating, both in terms of quantity and efficiency. “Stand back”, we had to warn. “He’s more stomach than boy.”. Things were pretty level until the steamed egg was whisked from the table (we don’t know why). Max was upset by this and turned to where his mom had been, but she was gone on a toilet trip with Kira. The combination proved too much and he went over the deep end. In no time, there were 4 waitresses and 2 hostesses all around him and the table, trying to figure out in Cantonese what might quiet him. Fearing, a full-blown meltdown by the little citizen, I pulled-out a chocolate chip protein bar from the backpack. Critical mass was averted, and we earned several respectful nods from the wait staff.
Despite the unruly American kids, the food and tea were excellent. One of the items (the eel dish) didn’t arrive with the rest of the meal. When I asked about it, I understood when they said it was late, but didn’t realize they were preparing it fresh – really fresh. It was easily the best I ever had. Max liked it, too.
We tried to finish some errands, but the kids were melting too fast. Three tantrums later, they’re in bed and everyone is asleep.
Missing naps was a gross, but unavoidable error, as it turned out. In the end, we felt lucky to have the appointment done and everything work out so well. Our agency and reps did a good job for us. There were 4 families with other agencies who had issues with their paperwork and were delayed in-country for an additional week or maybe even longer.
Tomorrow we leave Guangzhou for Shanghai again so we can catch our flight for home the next morning. We’re anxious to get home and into a routine with the kids. We’re also a bit sad to leave Guangzhou because it will be a long time before we’re back again. We’ve had many good experiences here. We'll miss it.
As before, we hope that all is well with you and you’re having good adventures, too!
Kim, Michelle, Kira & Max

Guangzhou - Day 3 & 4

Hi, Everyone,
We had to finish-up our medical checks and VISA on Monday morning. We decided just Max and I would go with Molly to make it easier on Kira if we got stuck waiting somewhere. That was a good idea. It was hot. There were many umbrellas outside – not to protect from rain, but from the sun.
If you recall, we thought Max hated photographers. This is possibly not true. It may actually be getting out of the stroller when it’s hot and there is no food involved. It’s a complicated combination, but seems accurate. He likes to lounge when it’s hot, and the stroller is a prime place to do it. Of course, if the food comes too late and critical mass has been reached, the effort is lost and the mission must be scrapped. After some deft work with a rubber ball by a middle-aged Chinese lady and a new toy cell phone, we got a picture without wailing. They edited the picture to remove some of the angry red from his face and my hands holding him in the chair. He actually looked compliant after they were done.
Next, we ran to the medical clinic where his TB test was read amid the chaos (and was negative), so we wandered back to the hotel where Michelle and Kira were waiting in the play room. There’s a garrison of soldiers near the island and they were practicing hand-to-hand fighting in the park. We stopped to watch them a little while on our way back. Max was uninterested. Apparently, he’s already had enough of that with his sister.
The only hurdle remaining now is the US Consulate’s process, which will require the remaining time to complete. Our Consulate appointment is tomorrow afternoon, and we should get Max’s VISA by Thursday morning at the latest – if all goes well. We understand the need for protocol, but it seems a little ridiculous that after the literally months of forms and paperwork, fingerprinting, FBI checks, and USCIS checks and processes that our own government would still need three more days to get their stuff done while we wait in-country. The identity of the child has been known for many weeks, now. We don’t have a problem with the cost of the process. The time it takes just seems excessive. The fact that we want to adopt a kid is not exactly a surprise at this point.
I was mixed-up about the river cruise being Monday. It’s actually Tuesday, so instead, we went to the pool at the hotel. It’s a beautiful pool. We didn’t use it at all last time we were here, but we’ve been a couple times, now. Both kids love it. The grounds around the pools are extremely well-kept, with a couple stone walkways that meander through a tropical garden. On one side is a walk that follows along the river. For some added excitement, there’s a waterfall that ends in one of the pools. It’s been a challenge for the kids’ bravery to get close to it. Max has done very well. He’s taken a couple stumbles face-first in the water, but never cried. We played for some time, talking with other families as well. When the kids seemed to be getting tired, we ran back to the room, cleaned them up and went down the street to the Cow & Bridge Thai place (one of our favorites). Max was so tired when we got back, he went down with barely a whimper. So did we.
Throughout our trip, we’ve remained remarkably well. Max has a little cough and runny-nose, but hasn’t slowed-down a bit. The possibly-cat-based antibiotics are working well for me. I’m already feeling much better than I had been.
After a good night, we went to breakfast and had to get back to the room in case Molly called with any questions. She was at the Consulate this morning for us to be sure there was no problem with the last of the documentation. By 11:15, she called to tell us all was well, so we took the kids to the pool for a quick visit. Today is a hot, gray, smoggy day – very good for the pool. We ran back to the room for a light lunch and naps. Max was tired, but had a big problem with napping. Eventually, he gave up, covered himself up and went to sleep.
The kids had good naps, so were well-rested for an escape if the buffet crowd became too aggressive with the tongs and serving spoons, but that did not happen. Instead, it was very enjoyable. It was not crowded and there was no apparent accidental cannibalism. Molly got us one of the best tables on the boat with Julie and her daughter Jose. After dinner, we all went to the top deck to watch the lights as we cruised by. Max was pretty excited by the other boats and the pork meatballs. The rest of us enjoyed a broader spectrum.

Once we got back to the hotel, we were on our way back to our room when we heard a string quintet playing in the fancy bar. There was hardly anyone in there so we stopped in to listen and had a drink. They had peanuts for the kids. The quintet was quite good and we were happy share a civilized moment without anything getting broken or improvised tantrums exploding. Unfortunately, we didn't quite make it. Max worked out something that was bothering him and needed his diaper changed. As we were getting ready to leave, he decided to dart for one of the table lights and broke it. They weren't very tough. No one got hurt, but it cost us 30 yuan for the light. We found it strange that the manager knew immediately off the top of his head how much they were. Either he had a great head for numbers or this was not an unusual occurence. In any case, it was still cheaper to break a light there than to have a drink. We were not banished from civilization as they made money whether we drank or our kids broke stuff, but we left, anyway, having failed at a civilized interaction. We'll try again around 2018.

Back at base camp, bedtime is getting a bit easier each time. The tantrums are becoming a little shorter, but devolving into chants in baby talk and Shanghai dialect. We don't understand them, but it's clear he is sure there has been an injustice. He should get used to that soon.
Thank you again for your comments, emails and prayers. We really do appreciate them!
Kim, Michelle, Kira & Max

Guangzhou - Day 2

Hi, Everyone,
Well, it’s another horrific bedtime ... and just when we thought things were getting better, but then many things are that way – the stock market, Pabst Blue Ribbon, the script writing on General Hospital – there is some kind of underlying rule to which all of these things are subject.

Interaction and mood couldn’t have been better until it was time to settle down and transition to lights-out. We made a sign “Quiet, Please”, but it didn’t work today, either. We can hardly wait until Max learns to read. We can hear in another room another family having similar trouble. Or maybe Max slipped out of his crib and is trying his luck with someone else... better check. No, he’s still there and finally quiet. Tomorrow we’ll see if the other family wants to borrow our sign.

Today was a pretty good, low-key day. No touring; got up late (about 7:15) and gradually got everyone ready to go to breakfast which was also quite leisurely. We wandered around the huge hotel for awhile and then parted company. Michelle and the kids went to the playroom and I went to the Guest Clinic. I’ve been dealing with a sinus infection for several days and it became apparent it wasn’t going away by itself. The clinic is actually two regular hotel rooms with a door between them. The waiting room and pharmacy are the first room and the exam room is in the second. There’s also a very small exam room off the waiting room that looks like it’s used for the doctor to sleep. It was about 10am by this time and the doctor answered the door. She was an older Chinese lady who spoke only Chinese and herself didn’t look all that well. She called to her assistant who magically appeared after some plumbing noises and inquired about my problem. She spoke very broken English, and between her English and my very beginner Chinese, we all got around to the same page. I wanted Erythromycin, which has worked well in the past. They didn’t have an American version, but the doctor found an equivalent Chinese formulation they did have. It may be made out of cats for all I know, but if it works I don’t have a problem with it. The antibiotics, doctor visit and adventure all came to 80 yuan (about $12 US). We regrouped in the playroom where the kids played (actually together for awhile!). We played a bit and talked with other parents. It’s mostly western parents who use the playroom. There must be a good anthropological reason for this – or maybe the eastern families simply bring better toys with them.

After a light lunch in the room, Michelle dealt with naptime, which was inevitably successful, and I met with Molly to complete a bunch of paperwork which looks like it also will inevitably be successful. Later, we decided to go to the Cantonese restaurant in the hotel, which was fantastic when we were here last time. It is still fantastic. It’s quite a formal place. We were substantially under-dressed, but they understood our situation and it wasn’t very busy at that time, anyway. Max was a big flirt as usual and Kira couldn’t sit still as usual. Fortunately, there was an unoccupied private room that was right next to us. She could dance and sing in there while we kept an eye on her and Max finished her supper and part of ours. It's a good thing that the Chinese people love kids. We'd have been barred from several establishments by now, otherwise.

We did some shopping after that. We called it quits when the kids started to wilt and had some playtime back in the room, which eventually brings us full-circle to bedtime. All’s quiet on our front, now, and it sounds like the neighbor’s kid has called it quits, too. Time for me as well.
Tomorrow, Molly and I will take Max to another photographer for his VISA picture. It’s got to be done one way or another. Screaming or not, we have to have a picture tomorrow. After that, we need to finish his medical screening and that will be the extent of the official itinerary tomorrow. Michelle will entertain Kira back at base camp. It’s a good plan because there’s a better chance that one of us will have some nerves left by lunch time. Tomorrow night, Molly is taking another family and us to a buffet cruise on the Pearl river in Guangzhou. There is a beautiful light show along the shore incorporating the large buildings. There is an element of danger because last time, 3 people were accidentally eaten when the local folks on the cruise mobbed the buffet. Molly said that she has avoided weekend cruises since then.

Anyway, three of us pray for everyone back home each night that you’re healthy and happy. Max is usually just screaming by that time.

I'll have some pictures for tomorrow.

Kim, Michelle, Kira & “Screamin’ Max”

Arrived in Guangzhou

Hi, Everyone,
We arrived in Guangzhou last night. The flight was a little delayed, but not too bad. Kira always seems to do well on airplanes and Max did fine on his first flight. We had food, so the minimum requirements were met for him. Plus, there were several pretty, girls for him to flirt with, which is a big bonus. Molly, our rep here, met us at the airport. She was also our rep when we got Kira a few years ago. We had a lot of catching-up to do.
It felt good to get here and back to the White Swan. The hotel is on Shamian Island, a small area of town that was reclaimed from the river during the Qing dynasty. There are many old, grand buildings from China’s republic period, from the mid-1800’s to early 1900’s. The buildings were built for international banks, consulates, international companies and the like. Each of them is unique and interesting. Today, most have other uses, but the buildings are still impressive. Together with the narrow, tree-lined streets, they give the small island a stately feel with a more relaxed pace, relative to the large city as far as the eye can see around it. It all feels familiar, now, and like home in a way.
The hotel had some baby cribs available, so we took one. Kira opened it and Max couldn’t wait to crawl in. We thought “Sweet Lord in heaven, this is great!” It was, pretty-much. The joy was tempered, though, as both kids had troubles during the night – one in particular requiring extensive cleanup, so sleep wasn’t terribly abundant.
On our previous visit, there were dozens of adopting families and the breakfast buffet at the hotel was full and noisy. It wasn’t that way at all this morning. There were people coming through, but only a handful of adopting families. We tended to be seated in the same general section. Much of the rest of the hotel has remained the same, as has the surrounding community with some notable exceptions. Several of the shops we frequented in the old buildings are now closed and empty. Seeing the changes made us a little sad because these changes meant that the conditions that were part of our very good experience the first time might soon not exist anymore. Of course, a major part of our first experience was the friends in our travel group and we miss them this time. We have encountered a handful of other families, but since we’re all special-needs adoptions, everyone is on their own schedule, so the associations are fleeting.
We started with business right after breakfast. We had to get Max’s VISA picture taken and medical check done. Max is generally good-natured, but unfortunately, none of that came with us to the photographer. He had several fits, almost indistinguishable from each other – inconsolable, enraged, screaming, sweaty fits – a sort of megafit. He was even beyond the reach of food. Our secret weapon, fruit chews, had absolutely no effect. He really hated something about the photographer or something else hit him wrong. We removed him from the building 3 times before giving up and going to the medical check.
I’m not sure why we thought the medical check would go any better. There was no obvious reason for him to hate photographers, but since he’s had major surgery, there is probably an understandable reason from him to be uncomfortable with doctors – or at least adults in white lab coats, which were visible from the point we entered the clinic. Max was furious and let everyone know. There was a sign “Please Keep Quiet” at the front desk, which might have helped, but since our kid can’t read, yet, he screamed all the way to the back and through the first two checks. He was so mad, he filled his pants as one of the physicians was checking his lower abdomen. This doctor was growing impatient with the wailing and was becoming terse with us, but we thought, “You’re a male and he’s not even crying in English, what do you expect us to do?” It got better when a more senior female doctor came in to listen to his heart. He calmed down for her so she could listen between the sobs. Then, when the pretty ENT doc brought her little electronic piano to check his hearing, he was willing to put up with most anything. He also didn’t make a sound when the two young nurses had to give him a shot for the TB test. Yes, we see the pattern, too.
After that, Molly took us with another family to tour a Buddhist temple. It was the same temple we toured with Kira 3 years earlier. One of the monks did a blessing for us. We’re not Buddhist, but it seemed silly to turn down a perfectly good blessing. Kira enjoyed seeing where, when she was a baby, she had a tug-of-war with one of the monks over his prayer beads. A few of the workers there were commenting on Max’s “Buddha ears” and “Buddha belly”. It’s supposedly a sign of good luck – or it’s one of those things one thinks of to say to people who are struggling and there’s not much other positive input to share. We eventually made it back to the hotel and the kids had a good nap.
During nap time, I took a load of laundry to one of the shops and walked around a few blocks. There was a group of elementary students that stalked me for awhile until their teacher could catch-up. She explained that the kids wanted to practice their English. It was fun. We shared a few phrases and they went off to stalk another foreigner. I continued my walk past the Polish consulate – the last consulate left on Shamian. (There used to be many located here, including the US consulate.) There were two Chinese guards outside. We exchanged hello’s and they seemed vigilant, but not terribly uptight. It wasn’t exactly a hotbed of actvitity. The biggest news from the walk – I scored some xtra-large diapers for Max. Bonus!
We ended the night after going out to an Italian place for supper. It was just OK, but Max seemed to think that an Italian restaurant in China was a good place to say his first distinguishable English word – Hello. It must have been a southern Italian restaurant because it was very hot inside. Once back and ready for bed, we got our nighttime tantrum out of the way and everyone has faded out.
We’ll take another shot tomorrow.

Kim, Michelle, Kira (no longer in timeout) and Max

Visit to the Found Place

Hi, Everyone,
We really appreciate your comments and emails! It's been encouraging to know that transitions do lead to new normals.
We had imagined that "kid magnetism" would kick-in and Kira and Max would play and form attachments early. Indeed, there was such a honeymoon period, but it lasted about 3 hours. We prefer to think of it as 180 minutes. It makes it sound longer. If anything, their relationship reached their new normal pretty quickly, a stage fully recognizable by international standards.
Yesterday, Lilly took us to Max's "Found Place". It was in a very nice Children's hospital in the Pudong District of Shanghai. Cardiac care is one of their specialties. She relentlessly hunted and inquired until we found the exact doorway where he was found. It turned out to be a lab in a hallway off the main drag, but still a fairly busy place where he would be found very soon. Lilly explained that this hospital is well-known and people come here from a large radius, so we cannot be certain exactly where Max came from, but she said just from the shape of his eyes and face, she was confident he was from Shanghai or very closeby.
We left the hospital and went to the police station where Max was first taken. It's quite typical for 'found' babies. We walked in and Lilly was again gently persistent with the officers there until she got more information. It was apparent that it was very difficult to say 'no' to her. She did an excellent job. One of the officers told us the babies are taken to a particular Civil Affairs office down the street. It was very hot that day. The kids started to wilt, so Michelle took them back to the police station to wait out of the sun. Lilly and I continued and found a complex at the location we were told. People there new of a couple different places that could match the description, but were quite vague. In China, that usually means they don't know.
Also in China, zoning is not clearly defined by American standards. Commercial, light industrial, residential and government office uses can be highly mingled and aren't always well-defined. That was the case here. We figured that they would not have any more information than the police did, and we had that, now, so we abandoned the search and returned to the police station, caught a cab and returned to the hotel, where we spent the afternoon, struggling with naps and sharing.
When the kids went down, I ran out to the Dongtai Road antique market. It's a permanent flea market in the Old Shanghai area of town, where all sorts of things could be found -- everything from statues made to look old to large ivory pieces to Mao watches. There was only time enough for a breif run through there, but it was alot of fun. The way back was much easier via the metro.
We went back to the Japenese place for supper - before rush hour and before things became active. It was much better timing for the kids, too. It gave us time to hit the swimming pool one more time and off to bed where another struggle was waiting -- kindof like a landmine, only less predictable and more delicate.
Today, we fly to Guangzhou, so are hanging-out at the hotel. I have to meet Lilly soon to pick-up Max's passport and other papers so we can complete the process with the Consulate. Kira is motivated to go because of the playroom at the White Swan, where we'll be staying. Max is motivated by food, a box with a removeable lid and diaper changes.
Gotta run!

Kim, Michelle, Kira (presently in timeout) and Max

Our visit to the orphanage

Hi, Everyone,
First of all, thank you for the encouraging comments and emails. It makes us feel close to home!
We met Lilly this morning and she took us to the orphanage where Max lived. It was built in 2000, and is gated, beautiful and spacious – very resort-like. It replaced a smaller facility from 1911. There are separate buildings for administration, living quarters, rehab and a school. The facility is setup as a residence for kids as long as they are wards of the state – even if they enter the university. We were without our camera much of the time because Miss Guo, the same lady that brought Max to meet us, took it to Max’s room to take pictures for us. We weren’t allowed to go there ourselves due to concerns over H1N1. The visit was brief, but pleasant.

Foreign adoptions from Shanghai are unusual now because Chinese families are allowed to adopt also, and so many can afford it here. We were told that we’re the only ones from Minnesota to adopt from here this year so far.

We had the chance to ask more questions about Max during our visit. We asked about his experience with other kids and what they did about his temper. She said that the nurses loved him and basically couldn’t say ‘no’ to him. When he wanted something, he got it. That’s in-line with what we have seen. It will take some time to work into the new rules. I must admit to using ear plugs once already during an especially challenging outburst.

We have reminder notes for Lilly to teach us how to say some things in Shanghai dialect – things like “Do not throw that.” , “Do not hit.” and "Gentle".

The transition has its challenges, but we know we’ve been blessed again. It’s clear Max is a very clever, determined, active and healthy kid. The most worthwhile blessings always come with challenges. (If that’s not true, please keep it to yourselves.)

We have our plane tickets for Guangzhou on Friday. Lilly got us a very good deal. It’s hard to believe we’ve been here almost two weeks, already. Tomorrow, she’ll take us to Max’s “found place”, where he was found abandoned.

After another relatively unsuccessful nap time we went to supper. There's an IKEA store nearby we walked to during rush hour. It seemed like the whole population of the city was a the same intersections we were. The numbers of people and vehicles was astonishing. Apparently, busses do not have to observe stoplights in Shanghai. We heard something like that from one of our guides and we observed it several times. Ambulances must obey the stoplights, but busses do not. Go figure.

The IKEA store was amazing in a less-than-positive way. There was a big cafeteria-style restaurant that looked pretty good, only it also must have looked good to the remaining population that weren't at the intersections with us because it was packed. In China, it's not considered rude to stand at the table over those who are finishing eating -- just as it's not considered rude to barge infront of a lady pushing a baby stroller to get into a building. These are just things that one needs to do in a city of 20 million people. We were not yet willing to drool on other people as they ate, so we left there and wandered our area of town for awhile, finally ending-up at a very unusual building with several floors.

There were young ladies on the sidewalk outside of this building, competeing in trying to get people interested in going inside. We asked for a menu and it looked pretty good, so we consented. We were ushered to one of the upper floors where there was a very nice Japanese restaurant. Service was excellent and the food was very good. Max had fallen asleep on the walk and remained in a stroller. He woke up to the smell of food. A couple of the waitresses really liked him and brought special steamed eggs to both of the kids. One of them spent alot of time feeding Max for us. After eating two helpings of rice with chicken, 1.5 steamed egg servings, two pieces of steamed squid tentacles and half a large orange juice, he was slowing down. It was getting late and we had to go, but since we were leaving with food still visible, there was a tantrum. It took 3 pretty Asian waitresses fussing over him for 10 minutes to calm him down. There's no way we can compete with that, and we couldn't afford to maintain it, anyway, but was nice while it lasted.

When walked past the building at first, and Michelle mentioned a suspicion that it looked like an unsavory place, but we were hungry and the kids were tired. We were glad we took the chance. However, on the way back down, the elevator opened on a floor we had not seen before which gave some credence to Michelle's suspicions and offered another answer to why there was an elevator operator in a very small elevator, but at that point we didn't care. No one bothered us and we and one of the kids was full.

Back at the room, we all had some fun settling in for the evening, but it's been another harrowing bedtime. Kira doesn't understand why her new brother is so loud, Max doesn't understand why we do not help him have or do anything he wants and we are looking forward to the part of being home where all the tools (i.e. crib, doors and baby chairs) are available to help enforce the rules of the new regime.

We hope things are well with you all.

Kim, Michelle, Kira & Max